Celebrating Chris on His 40th Birthday

Over the last 40 days, Chris has woken to a letter from a loved one as a 40 Day Countdown with Love gift. It has been so nice to watch him smile each day as he reads the sentiments of so many in his life. What has also been special, is to see the common threads among all of the letters. There wasn't a single letter that didn't mention some of the following qualities: his smile, his patience, his faith, his love for family, his willingness to help, his joy! Many of the letters mentioned all of those qualities. The amazing thing about Chris, is that all of the ways in which he is viewed by others, matches exactly who he is. He doesn't have a "public self" and a "behind closed doors" self.  
     He is the most patient person I know. Whether it's 1,000 questions from the kids, 1,001 favors requested by me, a broken appliance, a sleepless night from plowing snow, a hectic morning, or all of that, simultaneously, Chris remains patient and calm. He is supportive in all of our endeavors. Athletics, music, my graduate school, and anything else we take on, Chris is there...smiling, cheering, encouraging, and most appreciated..believing in us. Chris is helpful. He packs all of our lunches in the morning, helps me move into and out of my classroom, helps with the boys' projects,...really, you name it and he is willing (and eager) to help. 
     I could go on and on, but anyone who knows him could go on and on, too. I am so happy that over the last 40 days, Chris has been given the opportunity to see himself through the eyes of those whose lives he's enhanced. It sounds trite to say we are blessed, but we are blessed. The fact that this supportive, helpful, encouraging, comforting, sacrificial, forgiving man is the man God allowed me to spend my life with is my most generous gift from Him.. I can only pray that God gives us another 40+ years together so I can continue to learn what it means to truly love, and continue to evolve into the woman being with Chris helps me to be.

    Chris, HAPPY 40th BIRTHDAY! You have brought God glory in the way in which you live. I hope you truly celebrate who you are, what you do, how you love, and how loved you are! :)

     

Memory Files for Future Smiles

    I was driving to work a few weeks ago,  at daybreak. The street lights nearest to me turned off and it caused me to take notice. Here I was focusing on something that had normally just been a part of my taken-for-granted scenery. As I did,  I became a 7-year old girl driving home from Grandpa and Grandma Bekeny's house on Christmas Eve, looking for Santa in the night sky. 

   My eyes stung as I remembered the way snow looked ( when I was young it always snowed on Christmas Eve, it seemed) against the backdrop of the street light. I remembered the softness of my Grandma's cheek, the smell of her lotion, the taste of the popcorn balls she always gave to us. I cried happy tears for the blueberry pancakes she used to make us and knowing my mom, our boys' Grandma Bekeny, now makes blueberry pancakes for them . I felt like my drive to work became a long-awaited visit with my Grandma, one I've pined for, for all of the 29 years I've missed her.


    My sense of awe was not only in the flood of memories I felt for her, but by the trigger. Street lights. How did my brain file such warm, loving, vivid memories in a file marked street lights? It's amazing to me that I was 9-years old when she died and so much of her is still with me, in files I get to unlock as an adult. As a granddaughter, I am thankful. As a mother, I am relieved. Relieved that after my boys leave our home and begin their own files, they will take the ones being created today, with them. Even if it's 29 years after I've gone home, before they unlock them on their way to work.


    Perhaps it will be a meatloaf that triggers the memory of how much Mom loved to make the house smell like home. Will it be the sight of their wives in a robe that transports them back to a Saturday morning with Mom and Dad? I hope the smell of a campfire burns memories of fun and adventure. I hope the sight of their Bibles helps them to draw upon the faith we've tried to build in their hearts. I know a Christmas song will fill them with a nostalgia of our Christmas mornings, trimming the tree, and how much Mom *loved* Christmas. A back-to-school commercial may prompt a lecture to our grandchildren, from our boys, about the importance of education. The sight of a worn-out boot will, I know, remind them of how hard their Dad worked and what a truly amazing man God gave them for their earthly father. 


   As I write this, on New Year's Eve, I realize even more that life isn't marked by the passing of another year, but by the filling of a file. The legacy of our children's childhoods are being poured into piles of leaves, baseball mitts, backpacks, and yes, street lights. I hope to begin a file, today. It will be marked 'unknown'. This file will serve as a daily reminder that I'm creating Memory Files for Future Smiles. 


Happy New Year. 


:)

Eric Matthew Fox

Each time one of the boys has a birthday, it evokes a reflection period. I visit the memories of their birth, recall the distant stages, and gaze at who they are, presently, with an appreciation  for the privilage to be their mother. Eric's birthday is Saturday; he will turn 8! In celebration, I devote this blog entry to the sharing of 8 things I cherish most about Eric Matthew Fox:

8. If you walk into a room and see an empty juice-box, a wrapper, a cup....you have physical evidence that Eric was in the room. There is a forgetfulness that is a stark contrast to his astounding intelligence. It makes me chuckle because, to me, it preserves the fact that he is still my little boy. From the couch to the bookbag, he could get sidetracked several times before his homework folder makes it to its destination. What does this really cause me to cherish? He still needs us. :)

7.When I hear, "Hey Mom?" I answer, "Yes?" and then I wait. I don't wait for a second. I sometimes wait for 30-45 seconds. I used to follow up, after a few seconds, with, "Eric? What do you need?" I now realize one of two things are happening. One, he's formulating exactly what he wants to ask/say and precisely how to say it. Or two, he's forgotten that he called my name. Both-equally amusing. What does this really cause me to cherish? I answer him every time and sometimes, to him, that's all he needs.

6. When I'm able to drive Eric and Josh to school, he follows the same ritual *every* time. He hugs me, returns my, "I love you" and gets out of the car. While I enjoy that, what comes next is my favorite. A few seconds (I could actually count down from 5 and predict with pinpoint accuracy when it will occur) he stops, turns around and gives me a crinkled-nose smile. Then, he continues the rest of the way without looking back. What does this really cause me to cherish? His love for me prompts a one-last-look, and his confidence in himself prevents another one.

5. It was planned that I would take lunch to Eric and eat with him. This morning, he was extra tired when I woke him. He struggled to open his eyes, stumbled for the first few steps and then focused on me. In a split-second, his eyes brightened and he said, "Hi Mom! Are you still bringing lunch, today?" What does this really cause me to cherish?  He begins his day with a positive thought.

4. He takes his own wallet to church every weekend so he can give to the offering. No one prompted this. We have reassured him that our family gives, yet he continues. What does this really cause me to cherish? God must be so proud.

3. One day, I was putting on make-up and he was watching. He began to ask questions that led to questions about my hair color. He asked me if, underneath the color, I am gray. I said, "Well, I'm sure I have some gray hair, but I'm not like..." (searching for a word like, 'entirely' or 'totally') Eric, without skipping a beat says, "Dad? What does this really cause me to cherish? He's funny!

2. We told Eric what his birthday present was, from us- Hallow Weekends at Cedar Point. While this is significantly more extravagant than we'd ever do for a birthday, we are making up for the Kalahari trip he had to miss when he had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. About 15 minutes after we told him, he came to me and said, "My face hurts from smiling so much." What does this really cause me to cherish? He feels gratitude.

1. Every single time something doesn't go as planned, hits a glitch or threatens to disappoint, Eric is the first (and often only) one to quickly say, "It's okay, because..." It doesn't matter with what he fills in the blank. What matters is, the blank is always filled. What does this really cause me to cherish? He is the youngest in our family, yet he guides us in making the best of each moment, day, event, experience, and trial.

I had so much fun reflecting on, and constructing this 'snapshot' of Eric. Nothing compares to the joy, though, in knowing God trusted me to be this 'snapshot's' mom. I guess you could say, it's what I really cherish.

Happy Birthday, Eric!

Summer Fun Has Finally Begun!

Foxden5 Action News has learned that a great summer is underway for the Fox Family. Reporting Live, on the scene, is our own Audrey Fox.


Noah: In entertainment news, Noah has been cast in the third production of his acting career. Viewers will remember, Noah appeared last winter in, "Aesop's (Oh So Slightly) Updated Fables" and "Any Dream Will Do", which was the culmination of an acting workshop he completed last spring. Noah's current project is a member of the chorus in "Alice in Wonderland." He began rehearsals last week and will perform at the Toledo Repertoire Theater, August 18-21. In other news, Noah is excited to attend church camp, this July, where he will spend nearly five days away from home. His mother reports a slight sadness that, depending on it's track, has the potential to intensify as the event moves closer. Sources do tell us they believe it is a healthy dose of separation anxiety and all parties are expected to make a full recovery.

Josh: In sports news, Josh has recently taken a baseball to his right-eye area. In a freak accident, Josh was injured during practice last Thursday. Given the timing of the incident, Josh has had a long weekend to heal so he will not miss any practices or games. While the rainbow is visiting his face right now, the swelling and tenderness have decreased, significantly. When not playing baseball, sources tell Foxden5 Action News that Josh can be seen watching some type of sporting event. As long as there is competition involved, Josh is a fan. Witnesses have observed Josh follow baseball, golf, tennis, classic football and many more, often times, simultaneously. Josh credits the advancements made to television for his successful watching career, most specifically, the DVR.

Eric: Eric continues to heal from his recent bout with RMSF. For the most part, all symptoms are gone. The  struggle that remains, for Eric, is fatigue. Sources note an emotional meltdown can quickly occur and that serves to signal the need for a rest period. Bloodwork to test Liver enzymes will take place in 3 weeks.  He has resumed his season with the Yankees and #4 was recently observed pitching when his coached put him on the mound to make up for time spent in the hospital. He did a great job during his one-inning-pitching-career and reported later that 'pitching is hard'. In a recent statement, Eric said, "I hope July is better than June, in both health and warmth." He went on to say, "The first few weeks of summer were a little bit of a bummer." Sources don't know at this time if he will pursue a career in poetry, but his aptitude is clearly visible with that statement. Eric has added a joke to his collection and it goes like this: What time should you go to the dentist? *Answer* tooth thirty.

Chris: Our station reports a busy and productive summer for the head of this household. He has finished a backyard deck project, sold two houses, maintains full-time hours with his roofing business and every once in a while, he takes a 'break'. In his spare time, Chris can be seen helping with his church renovation project, holding batting practice for his 3 sons, cutting the grass for his elderly neighbor, or tackling home- improvement projects. Witnesses have noted that despite his work load, wherever Chris is spotted, he is smiling.

Audrey: In breaking news, Audrey is soon to learn which school she will transfer to, as a result of a district displacement. Foxden5 Action News has been told the meeting will take place this Friday, and the results will likely be different from what she had hoped for. Audrey is focusing on the positive and maintains that she may not end up where she thought she was going, but she will end up where she is meant to be. Audrey is loving the summer with her boys and enjoying the things she doesn't have time to do during the school year.

To capture the mood of this family, it would be safe to say, "Life is good." 

We return you to your regularly scheduled program. We'll bring you further developments as they occur. Signing off for now, this is Audrey Fox, reporting live, Foxden5 Action News.

The Palm of His Hand

***I feel it on my heart to express our complete faith in our staff of pediatricians. What Eric had is so rare and difficult to diagnose. They have never taken our children's health lightly, and I believe where the blanks of information were, He was there to fill them. ***

"Mom, is this a scab?" Five words that could've led to two very different outcomes. The palm of His hand carried Eric all the way to the only outcome I could've survived.

Monday, a week ago today, my cell phone rang at work and it was Noah: "Mom, Eric doesn't feel good and he has a fever." No parent enjoys those words, but for the next 24 hours I thought he had a typical virus. Then, things began to change...

Tuesday: fever 102.3 and a rash appeared all over his body. Was he getting chicken pox? Heat rash from the fever? These were the questions I asked myself. I called the doctor...we were told to bring him to the office in the morning if he wasn't getting better. 

Wednesday: woke up with 103.7..called doctor and was told to bring him in now. Chris was at Kalahari with my car, so I threw him into the Graduate Roofing Company truck which I've never driven past our driveway and off we went. Here is where the real story begins...

On the way to the doctor, out of the blue, I thought, "This couldn't possibly have anything to do with that tick, could it?!...

[You see, those five words written at the beginning of this post were spoken nine days prior--the Saturday of Memorial Day Weekend. Eric was watching television and just resting his head on his fist while moving his thumb around and felt something behind his ear. He asked if it was a scab, I peeled back his ear and discovered a tick. We removed it like we've done with Noah no less than 7 times in his life and thought nothing of it.]

... So, to remember the tick was evidence of His palm. I just didn't know it as clearly, at the time.

Doctor's office (still Wednesday): I explained to the nurse that I fear this could have something to do with a tick bite and she unmovingly said she'd document it. I texted Chris, while waiting for the doctor to come in, and asked if he thought this could be tick related. He immediately sent back, "YES! Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever!" Really, I thought..what's that and how does he know anything about it? He remembered his parents talking about it when he was a kid. ( His palm... I just didn't know it as clearly at the time.)

Doctor arrives and examines him. No obvious origin of symptoms...tick timing is worth treating...amoxicillan 3x a day for 14 days ...treatment for Lyme Disease.We took him home and began treatment. This is now day 3 since first symptom began. He has since added...severe headache, pain when he walks, and he's crying from it all. Eric doesn't complain. Something is wrong.

Wednesday night: Chris said, "Audrey, he doesn't have Lyme Disease. I know it. I *know* he has Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. (RMSF) We looked at the rash on the computer for both diseases and Eric's clearly looked *exactly* like RMSP and *nothing* like Lyme Disease. I googled the question. "Will Amoxicillan treat RMSF and the answer was a clear and alarming...No! Further, if not treated within first five days, severe illness or death may occur and without any treatment...death. This information..(His palm, I just didn't know it as clearly at the time.)

Chris took Eric to the ER at 10:20 pm, Wednesday night. He arrived with the deliberate intention of pleading that we think Eric has RMSF and he's on the wrong antibiotic. Of course, the admitting person and the nurse thought he was crazy--patronizingly dismissed him and told him the doctor would be in. The doctor came in and she said her sister had Lyme Disease when they were kids (His palm)... and this wasn't it. Chris told her he thought he had RMSF and the doctor concurred.

After consults and bloodwork, it was determined that he would be treated with Doxycycline and they gave the first dose at 3am...nearly four days after the first symptom outbreak. While relieved, I was not anywhere near peace with his condition. They were going to send him home with Doxycycline treatment and a list of things to watch for. I further researched and found 6 cases of children who died from this and read their treatment history. Each child died within 7-9 days after first symptoms were repeated. The symptoms and the 'track' they took...identical.

I was hysterical and it's now 3am. I called Chris and told him of the cases I read and that they can *not* send him home! The ER doctor got on the phone and 'reassured' me that he was clinically ok, he'd been there for 4 hours and his vitals were good, his fever was down, and he'd had his first treatment, but if I felt strongly about this--they'd call the Toledo Children's Hospital to see what they said. I told her very confidently, "I DO feel very strongly about this. You don't know enough about this illness to tell me to watch for symptoms at home. Send him home when he DOESN'T display those symptoms, I pleaded." My inability to accept that he was ok...(His palm.)

 Ninety minutes later,  they called me back to tell me Eric had a room at TCH. They would assess him, the pediatrician who we LOVE (and who wasn't in the office on Wednesday) was on call (His palm) and would come to the hospital. They assured Chris and I that everyone would see him to develop a medical plan with which we'd all be comfortable.  When he arrived he was severely dehydrated, had an enlarged and tender liver, his platelets were down and his liver enzymes were up. We were told he wouldn't be going home, today. He was started on IV fluids and IV antibiotics and most people are aware of the circumstances following that decision.

Eric has recovery time ahead of him, but he is getting better each day. I have cried more since he has been home than I was able to do in the hospital. He had a potentially fatal illness in his body and it was the palm of God's hand that led us to the place we are right now, and away from the place we might have been. We are shaken, but we are strengthened.

God, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for holding Eric. It was the palm of your hand that made all the difference, and I see it so clearly at this time.

*** Final thought: The rash on Eric's body had one defining marker that set it apart from all other rashes and pointed to Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever...it was on the palms of Eric's hands.

He 'ist' What He 'ist' What He 'ist'

Everyone knows that each child is unique, but parenting three kids with the same gender, I think, magnifies that truth. What I mean is, I don't have the differences between boys and girls on which to hang my hat. I just see one boy different from the next. It's like their boyhood is the 'control' and mostly everything else is an awesome variable. I've always relished their differences, and this week they gave me some concrete examples of who they are and what approach they, at least for now, take toward life. Simply put, I have evidence to support the fact we have an optimist, a perfectionist and a realist.

Noah is an optimist. He, for the most part, sees the opportunity in every situation. He is unusually unconcerned, given he's a middle- school -aged child, about others' expectations and opinions of him. He allows nothing to hold him back from what he wants to do. Noah approaches things that would scare me to death with not only the absence of trepidation, but with an unguarded eagerness. I hope and pray his healthy outlook never gives way to the curse of trying to please the world. An example of his optimism came this week when he received the results of his science olympiad event. He was ecstatic that he took 38th place out of 40 teams. It's significant because he wasn't just choosing to see the good, he seemed genuinely oblivious to anything but celebration. He was elated that he beat Chris' Alma Mater and that the team advanced one place from last year.  I love that his optimism brings Noah joy and it multiplies ours. 

Josh is our perfectionist. Self-disciplined is the best way to describe him, with the emphasis on self. Just his morning shower routine offers a glimpse of his meticulousness. Without fail, for the past 150 (plus or minus) school days, he has reminded me before he goes to bed to get him up at 6:30a.m. I get him up, he gathers his clothes, places them on the sink- counter in the order he will get dressed, starts the water and then sits on my bed to talk to me while the water warms to the ideal temperature. I could go on, but you get the picture. Meticulous. Like all perfectionists, Josh doesn't enjoy making mistakes. He enjoys even less anyone noticing a mistake.  Yesterday, he came to tell me he had put in the car the following: his baseball, his mitt, a sweatshirt, cleates and his cup-due to the fact we were going to dinner and would take him directly to practice, afterward. In my haste to get moving, I simply said, "Hey- don't forget a bottle of water." I didn't affirm what he had remembered, and missed the fact that he was proud to tell me what he'd done on his own. I saw a slightly deflated expression, watched him think deeply, and heard him then say, "You know, I'm kind of like a camel in that I can go long periods of time without water." We laughed together, but I also laughed inside knowing he'd rather equate himself to a desert animal than succumb to imperfect, baseball preparation.

Eric is our realist. For only seven years old, he has incredible wisdom that is most times, comical. He wants to know how things function, he prefers to read information rather than stories, he remembers everything he sees or hears, and most prevalent, is his tendency to pull no punches. What he thinks is what you're going to hear. Sunday, he was in the kitchen still sporting his soccer uniform shirt, from his earlier game. The letters SSA are on the lapel and stand for Springfield Soccer Association. (This fact will be important to the story in a moment.) I walked into the family room and noticed an unpleasant streak on the carpet, and dog owners will know to what I refer. It doesn't occur often, but let's just say it never brings me joy! I was so irritated and I said to Chris, "Did you see this?! I hate it when that dog wipes his *pause* I hate when he does this!!" I went into the kitchen to get something to clean it with and Eric looked at me and said, "I know what you were gonna say, Mom. He then pointed to the lapel of his uniform, "It's *this* spelled backwards." (Now, read the earlier description of what is written on the lapel of his shirt.) He said this with such innocent bluntness and a sheepish, little grin- that's Eric!

Yes, each child is unique. I look forward to watching their uniqueness shape them right into adulthood. I realize already, they will be what they 'ists'. 

Spring Has Sprung!

In just the past few days, I have noticed a burst of foliage returning to the ground, bushes and trees. I always compare this time of year to the moment Dorothy arrives in Munchkin World from the black- and- white beginning, in the Wizard of Oz. The bare and colorless months of winter are brutal for me, so the beauty of spring is something that I grow increasingly more grateful for each year!

Also sprouting these days are the active schedules for our boys! Noah is about to wrap up his stint with the Springfield Middle School's Science Olympiad Team. Earlier this year, they qualified for the State Competition. He and Chris will travel to Columbus, this Saturday. It's not the type of competition that can be observed by fans and spectators, so the younger two and I have opted to save about $250 (gas and hotel) and stay home. We will be rooting for him though, and will receive frequent text updates, I'm sure! Noah is also participating in an acting workshop, still enjoys playing the trumpet, and is becoming more involved in our church youth group.

Josh's confidence is probably the heartiest spring growth we've witnessed here in the 'den'. He's playing soccer, baseball (which he LOVES), and he just began to serve with the Safety Patrol Guard, at school. With summer nearing, he is about to have only one school year left as an elementary student!! The thought of two kids in middle school is enough to make me move onto the the next paragraph. ;)

Eric is beginning his 3rd season of baseball and his 2nd season of soccer. He loves them both, equally. He's also ending his first year as a cub scout. He has sprouted in height, humor, and revenue from the tooth fairy this year!

 It's not always graceful, but we manage, somehow, to get it all done. Hanging in my dining room is a plaque that says, "We may not have it all together, but together we have it all." Together, we  say--- Happy Spring! :)